Small Potatoes
by TheDaringInferno
Summary: Van Blundht arrives at Scully's home with wine and a plan for seduction. Once she's drunk and open he plans to take her. Unfortunately, Scully's more concerned about Mulder and Skinner's relationship. Based on season 4, episode 20 "Small Potatoes".


Eddie smiled, waiting for Scully to come back with the wine. This was almost too easy. He was handsome as "Fox" (that _name_ , how could anyone live with it?) and Scully would fall for him in no time. He was a romancer at heart. It was just his looks that threw women. But Mulder, he was handsome. He could seduce a woman no problem like this.

Scully sat down next to him, watching him, and Eddie looked back. He hoped she didn't see through him. She and Mulder, the _real_ Mulder, had seemed pretty close. Maybe they were lovers? (That would make this so much easier.)

"So seriously Mulder, what's going on? You okay?" Eddie cleared his throat.

"Uh, good. We never really...uh...talk much...do we?" Scully studied her partner, confused.

"What do you mean like...really talk? No, no we don't, Mulder." Eddie grinned internally, his hands almost shaking with how well she bought his act.

"Well what's stopping us?" He threw a heated gaze her way, hoping she would catch his intentions. Scully softened, eyes suddenly bright and Eddie practically shrieked with joy in his head.

"Is something wrong with you and Walter?" Eddie froze. Walter? Shit. Who was that? He hadn't heard that name on the voicemail recording. Who the hell was Walter? The way Scully was looking at him, like she expected something to be wrong told him what the right answer was.

"Yes." Suddenly he was engulfed in a hug and whoever Walter was he needed to thank the man for landing him the easiest score in his life. Scully pulled away for a second, holding him at arm's length and Eddie made sure to look appropriately sad.

"I'm so sorry Mulder. I know how much you wanted things to work." Eddie nodded, still unsure what she was talking about. Was Walter a friend?

"They just couldn't." Scully pulled him in for another hug and Eddie wrapped his arms tightly around the woman. _Comfort sex, here I come!_

"Do you know what went wrong?" Was she still talking about Walter? Maybe that was his kid? Should he be more concerned?

"No." Scully sighed and pulled him back again. Eddie looked at her, eyes misty and Scully smiled weakly. If it was just a friend then he was laying it on thick but if Walter was his son well… he was showing great restraint.

"Did he leave you? I know you loved him." Eddie froze. _Loved him?_ _LOVED HIM?_ Was Mulder _gay_? _Shit!_ That ruined everything! No wonder Scully was so close to him. No wonder she was so relaxed and comfortable touching him. They were friends and he was _gay_. He reached for his wine glass, stomach churning.

"I need a drink." Scully nodded, though for all the wrong reasons.

"I can't believe this! First he tells you he loves you, then he says he's divorcing his wife, and _then_ he cheats on you and you're the one who's wrong!" Eddie sighed into his glass. Scully was _still_ ranting about this Walter. She'd gotten drunk and he'd hoped to sleep with her anyway but instead she'd gotten up to pace the living room, angry. She was a fiercely loyal friend and he supposed this would have been wonderful for the real Mulder but it was just another reminder that he wasn't getting any tonight.

"Scully-" She paused in her pacing, looking at him and for a moment he wondered if he'd finally gotten her to stop.

"We need to call him." Eddie's face fell as he sluggishly pulled himself away from the couch. Part of him wanted to stop her from ruining Mulder's life and another part wanted to let her break up with Walter for him so he could be free to date women.

"Wait Scully-" She had already called this Walter and was angrily holding the phone to her ear, leaning most of her weight on the phone table.

"Walter Skinner! You- You-" Skinner? Hadn't he heard that name before?

"Scully calm down!" Scully shook Eddie off, clutching the phone to her ear. Eddie moved to grab the device until the voice on the other end stopped him.

"Is that Mulder? Is he with you?" Skinner? As in Mulder's _boss_ Skinner? Oh this was bad. This was really bad. Scully was still talking into the phone and Eddie pushed past the panic clawing in his chest to listen to the woman.

"He's staying with me until he moves out." The voice on the other end froze and now that he could place a face to the man he could imagine his reaction.

"Moves out? Scully what the hell is going on?! Fox!" Eddie's head snapped up as he heard his current fake name. He didn't know what to say. How would the real Mulder react? Lucky for him Scully seemed to be ready to speak for him.

"You broke his heart, that's what's going on." Eddie frowned. _He_ wasn't heartbroken. Mulder was, or would be when he finally got back to his normal life.

"Fox? Fox is that true?" Eddie shook his head. He couldn't do this. Scully was holding the phone out to him, and Eddie didn't know what to do. Walter was still talking. "Fox, baby, you know she meant nothing to me. Come home so we can talk about it."

"I- I-" The door slammed open and Agent Mulder glared at his doppleganger. Eddie sighed in relief and dropped the illusion. Scully startled, backing away from him.

"Oh!" She quickly slammed the phone down, ending the call and looking between Mulder and Eddie. Eddie shrugged, falling into the closest chair and letting his head fall into his hands. This was not how he thought the night would go.


End file.
